When everything seems to be crashing down around us, why do we keep on going on?
I am a psychotherapist.
So, in my profession, I am asked that question everyday.
Most of the people I see have intense depression or anxiety. They are in a lot of emotional or physical pain.
Life is difficult. That is the first sentence in Scott Peck's book The Road Less Travelled (which I read some 20 years ago when I was going through a major life shift that left me scared, nervous, worried, and upset.)
Life is difficult! THREE little words. But, what meaning they have!
This book spoke to me.
It made sense - life is a series of grief processes with hope and joy intermingled amidst the storms.
Grief is a central part of the journey.
But, it is a part we all would like to avoid.
I was talking to a friend just yesterday, and we decided that:
The GIFT of living a long life into old age is that we get to have a long life, with lots of experiences, family memories, beautiful friendships, spiritual connections, good intentional work, and loads of fun happenings along the way!
The CURSE of living a long life into old age is that somewhere along the journey, we WILL meet face to face with pain and suffering, hurt, disappointment, disease and death... this can be depressing!
No one can escape disappointment.
Our work, our friends, our spouse, our families, our children, our bodies, all disappoint.
Simply stated: We all like control, but there are things in this life that are beyond our control.
In fact, if you think about it, every day that we live and breathe on this earth,
someone will be mean to you or hurt your feelings or disappoint you. That is life.
In order to balance pain and suffering, we must consciously and daily decide to be resilient, to regulate our own mood, and to seek joy in the midst of sorrow.
I am amazed in my work to find that people of all ages have poor skills to self-soothe.
They are simply not equipped to handle life as it comes... the loneliness, the grief.
That is why it's important to develop good positive ways to cope... every day... in all situations...
In my job, I teach healthy coping skills all day long. It really is a good job in that respect!
SINGING... PRAYER... WRITING... RUNNING... BATHS ... these are my personal coping strategies...
(MUSIC, EXERCISE, HEALTHY FOOD, FRIENDSHIPS, FAMILY CONNECTIONS, POSITIVE REFRAME are all other things I use to balance life.)
And, it's no wonder that this is why SINGING is good for my soul!
It's a physical release! It's an emotional release! It's a mental release!
La - Ti - Do!
Jeanne
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